I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
