Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
