No awkward lesbian experiences without me
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Your cock deserves a montage
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
