i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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