You made me cry and you don't even care
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
