you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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