Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
