..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
