dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
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