I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
