I just threw up on my dentist
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.