Texts From Last Night

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  (630): View more from Illinois

  wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?

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  (630): wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them? http://tfl.nu/up3m
  Replies (10) Good night (630) Bad night (3452)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.

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  (214): Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever. http://tfl.nu/bza6
  Replies (29) Good night (9146) Bad night (1621)
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  (915): View more from Texas

  like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on

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  (915): like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on http://tfl.nu/aizw
  Replies (7) Good night (4419) Bad night (1019)
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  (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.

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  (709): Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob. http://tfl.nu/pavi
  Replies (16) Good night (1907) Bad night (4097)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever

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  (773): oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever http://tfl.nu/1ydb
  Replies (16) Good night (1051) Bad night (3286)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".

  (416): View more from Toronto

  That's about an "8" on normal scales.

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  (416): I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him". (416): That's about an "8" on normal scales. http://tfl.nu/joyf
  Replies (7) Good night (2787) Bad night (986)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Career choice validated

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  (732): Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!" (732): Career choice validated http://tfl.nu/g765
  Replies (51) Good night (9626) Bad night (1082)
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  (339): View more from Massachusetts

  100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before

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  (339): 100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before http://tfl.nu/n0g6
  Replies (5) Good night (1043) Bad night (485)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping

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  (210): Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping http://tfl.nu/by8h
  Replies (0) Good night (606) Bad night (839)
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  (661): View more from California

  How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.

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  (661): How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents. http://tfl.nu/nsw6
  Replies (17) Good night (627) Bad night (1300)
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  (320): View more from Minnesota

  Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.

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  (320): Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store. http://tfl.nu/lfii
  Replies (3) Good night (1448) Bad night (409)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...

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  (573): Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta... http://tfl.nu/9xfu
  Replies (2) Good night (334) Bad night (550)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.

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  (401): There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying. http://tfl.nu/eu3f
  Replies (6) Good night (1013) Bad night (300)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?

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  (701): I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up? http://tfl.nu/bx4r
  Replies (3) Good night (657) Bad night (352)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.

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  (303): What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again. http://tfl.nu/ob8g
  Replies (1) Good night (770) Bad night (305)

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