You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
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I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
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Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.