Texts From Last Night

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  (817): View more from Texas

  Midnight walks are trippy

  (1-817): View more from Texas

  I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.

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  (817): Midnight walks are trippy (1-817): I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon. http://tfl.nu/r0y6
  Replies (9) Good night (3539) Bad night (649)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.

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  (513): Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule. http://tfl.nu/z55h
  Replies (25) Good night (3852) Bad night (988)
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  (718): View more from New York

  I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?

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  (718): I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life? http://tfl.nu/2jrg
  Replies (27) Good night (779) Bad night (3231)
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  (661): View more from California

  It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.

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  (661): It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing. http://tfl.nu/ex7a
  Replies (116) Good night (11634) Bad night (1834)
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  (518): View more from New York

  Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.

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  (518): Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help. http://tfl.nu/q9on
  Replies (39) Good night (745) Bad night (9123)
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  (585): View more from New York

  I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.

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  (585): I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet. http://tfl.nu/fy09
  Replies (16) Good night (6422) Bad night (1216)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?

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  (404): What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender? http://tfl.nu/bcp3
  Replies (4) Good night (1282) Bad night (2268)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.

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  (910): He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work. http://tfl.nu/wbkv
  Replies (18) Good night (5843) Bad night (1300)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.

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  (336): I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome. http://tfl.nu/6uzt
  Replies (18) Good night (3810) Bad night (1301)
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  (646): View more from New York

  It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.

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  (646): It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka. http://tfl.nu/p7s5
  Replies (4) Good night (5282) Bad night (1075)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen

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  (814): we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen http://tfl.nu/nfcd
  Replies (9) Good night (2299) Bad night (989)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg

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  (860): nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg http://tfl.nu/ezvc
  Replies (6) Good night (3287) Bad night (702)
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  (845): View more from New York

  My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.

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  (845): My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine. http://tfl.nu/uhg6
  Replies (5) Good night (1266) Bad night (754)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.

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  (561): You know I love you. I just don't love your penis. http://tfl.nu/4w11
  Replies (6) Good night (367) Bad night (1142)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey

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  (262): Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey http://tfl.nu/zpaw
  Replies (1) Good night (675) Bad night (369)

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