: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
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A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
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I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless