bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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