Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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