woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
