Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
