he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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