she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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