Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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