let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize