found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
