Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
