And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
