I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
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