i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
