I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
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