Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
