I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
