DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
