about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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