I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
