Little spoons don't ask big questions
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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