Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
