I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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