Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
