y did u give ur computer a hand job?
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Randomize
