the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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