Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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