I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
