i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
