no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Randomize
