I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
