Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
