Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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