even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
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What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
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you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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