I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
