Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
you made out with another girl for some wings
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize