she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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