You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
