i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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