wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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