How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
