why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
