it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
