you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
