woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Sext me about skeletons
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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