You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I cut my penus on the lid.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Randomize
