I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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