Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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