literally had 100 drinks last night.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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