Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
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