Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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